Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Matthew 6-7

From Matthew 6:
28 "And why do you worry about clothes? Look at how the lilies in the field grow. They don't work or make clothes for themselves. 29 But I tell you that even Solomon with his riches was not dressed as beautifully as one of these flowers.30 God clothes the grass in the field, which is alive today but tomorrow is thrown into the fire. So you can be even more sure that God will clothe you. Don't have so little faith!31 Don't worry and say, 'What will we eat?' or 'What will we drink?' or 'What will we wear?'32 The people who don't know God keep trying to get these things, and your Father in heaven knows you need them. 33 Seek first God's kingdom and what God wants. Then all your other needs will be met as well. 34 So don't worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will have its own worries. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I basically spent the last week doing so much worrying. In March, I retired from full-time employment, and my husband and I changed our insurance policy to one provided by his employer. This week, my husband told me that he had been trying to refill a prescription and found out that the new insurance only covered 60% of the $4000/month cost of the drug he needs. We spent quite a few days panicked, scrambling on the phone to find out what our options might be. I found myself close to despair, at times imagining that I would have to go back to work full-time so that my husband would not be crippled from not getting the medicine he needs. I prayed about it right away, but in my heart I did not expect God to solve this problem for me.

Just as we had given up hope, God stepped in and took care of us just like he promised. First, my husband’s doctor gave him a 3-month supply, free of charge. Then, we found out that the drug manufacturer has a program that will reimburse some of the co-pay. The best news came after my husband finally got to speak with someone in billing, and we found out that the cost of this drug will count toward our out-of-pocket maximum, so we only have to pay $1000 one time for the year. Even better, the drug manufacturer’s reimbursement will cover that cost 100%. God not only met our need – he met it abundantly and extravagantly.

I should have already learned this lesson. When I found out I was pregnant with my second child, I started looking for my maternity clothes and could not find them. We searched every nook and cranny in our attic, garage, and closets to no avail. Eventually, I tried to think back to the time when I had packed them up, and I could barely remember a time when I had thought about getting rid of them. I had just gone back to work, and I was so miserable that I was convinced I would not have another child. That must have been what happened to them, but I was so depressed that I don’t even really remember. All of those feelings came flooding back, along with fear that I would have to go through that again and shame at having done such a foolish thing.

I sent an e-mail to my girlfriends asking if they knew of a place that had re-sale maternity clothes – I needed nice items for work and knew they could be pricey. One friend replied that she had a neighbor who was tall like me (I’m 5’11”) and a “nice dresser,” who might have some things to sell me. In the end, this person who was a complete stranger to me gave me – at no charge – 3 large plastic tubs and a garden-size trash bag stuffed with high-end designer-brand maternity clothes. These clothes were nicer than my own everyday wardrobe and more than I could have hoped for. God knew that I not only needed clothes, I needed to feel taken care of. I needed to let go of the dark times and mistakes that had left me in that position and feel like I had a fresh start. He knew my need, and he exceeded it. I have never felt so loved in my life. As I looked through the boxes of clothes, I just sat and cried for joy that God and this stranger would care enough about me to make this little unseen miracle.