Romans 4-5

All week, I have been thinking about how grumpy I am. I have been wondering about this "joy of the Lord" business. If the Joy of the Lord is supposed to be my strength, my lack of it is clearly the reason I keep failing at doing what I want to do. Then, what do you know? Right there in my reading for this entry, Romans 5:1-5 is all over me:

Since we have been made right with God by our faith, we have peace with God. This happened through our Lord Jesus Christ, who through our faith has brought us into that blessing of God's grace that we now enjoy. And we are happy because of the hope we have of sharing God's glory. We also have joy with our troubles, because we know that these troubles produce patience. And patience produces character, and character produces hope. And this hope will never disappoint us, because God has poured out his love to fill our hearts. He gave us his love through the Holy Spirit, whom God has given to us.

We have joy with our troubles because of the hope we have of sharing God's glory. What am I supposed to do with that? I read another blog this week where the writer wrote an interview with a dead friend. He does not seem to believe in Christ or heaven, but at the same time, he was grappling with the idea that everything can be really bad in "life," but it's still OK in the big picture. That's what this is all about. God does not think my problems aren't bad. He is saving every tear in a jar. It's just that he knows that everything is also OK, and He has given me a way to plug into that. It's my choice whether I want to take the small view and have sorrow alone, or take the larger view and have both sorrow and joy, knowing that someday I will have only the joy.

Easier said than done. I've heard a dude by the name of Zig Ziglar put this concept this way - not a quote, just my paraphrase:
The transition from believing that God promises life to having faith in that promise is like the change in how a girl thinks of her wedding day when she becomes engaged. Every little girl, to some degree, dreams of being a bride. She looks at magazines and imagines what it will be like for her. Girls used to keep a "hope chest" of all the things they collected for thier future wedding day. Then, one day, a man puts an engagement ring on her finger, and all the hopes and "ifs" become possibilities and "whens."

I was not the girl who had fantasies of being the Princess in my wedding gown, and when I got engaged, I started looking on e-bay for a dress. Maybe that's why I'm having such a hard time with this joy thing? I don't have a huge capacity for dreaming of "happily ever after." Still, the second part of the verse resonates with me. I have felt hope, and I have felt love. These things are what sustains me, and I have always thought that they were enough. I guess I'm starting to question that now.

Romans 1-3

Confession: I had to look at the schedule to see what book I was supposed to read next. I was a little dis-heartened to see that I am 2.5 months behind schedule already. Hmph.
So. ROMANS!
Anyway....every time I read verses like this one:
Romans 3:10
As the Scriptures say: "There is no one who always does what is right, not even one."
I think of this video I saw (no, I'm not going to imbed youtube again) of Kirk Cameron interrogating strangers on the street about whether they had broken any of the Ten Commandments.
"Have you ever stolen anything?" Of course, almost everyone said no.
"Have you ever lied?" Most people failed that one, but some still held out. That's how God defines not taking his name in vain, according to Kirk, which is a commandment. This goes on by degrees, but he eventually gets down to the question no one can deny - "Have you ever lost your temper with someone?" (or something along those lines), which, as it turns out, Jesus defines as breaking the comandment not to murder (Matthew 5).
When I watched this, I remember equating it with crazy evangelism - aggressive, over-the-top, unreasonable. Then one day I found myself sitting at day spa getting a facial. O.K.- just stay with me. I had never had a facial or any other beauty-treatment thing before, but my dad got me a gift certificate and there I was. The esthetician was about my age, and somehow got onto the topic of this Bible study she had joined. She was a "seeker," and had never really looked into Christianity before. She had randomly joined this Disciple class, which is a super-intense, start-to-finish Bible study program, and she thought it was interesting, but she didn't really relate. When I asked her what she meant by that, she told me that they just kept talking about how we were all sinners, and she didn't feel like a sinner. Then out of my mouth comes this Kirk Cameron-esque drivel about sin being "anything that separates you from God." God is holy, so sin is a comparison to holiness, not some relative "good-person-ness." And as I sat there thinking she was going to spit in my avacado mask, I realized that this was resonating with her. We had a really good conversation for the rest of the hour, and I was just amazed.
The more I encounter people who are hostile toward Christianity, the more I find out this is the big hang up. No one wants to think of themself as a "sinner." For some people, like the facial lady, it's just a mis-understanding of sin. These people know they are not perfect, but they also know they are not worthless, and they are ready to have those two things reconciled. Then there are the folks who really think they are perfect and are down right insulted at the thought of needed anything from anyone, much less salvation from God.
I enjoy reading Julie's motherhood chronicles at mothergoosemouse.com, but she is a somehwat aggresive atheist, and I am often taken aback by her posts. Last week, I got caught up in the comments to this post, and the two topics that I have been struggling to unite in this one post were confirmed:
1- people don't like aggressive evangelism
2- people really don't know what the Bible says about sin and salvation, but they think they do
Oh, and by the way, God made it our job to tell them the truth, whether they like it or not (1:16)
I am not ashamed of the Good News, because it is the power God uses to save everyone who believes—to save the Jews first, and then to save non-Jews.

Matthew 28

This post is many things -

The end of the first book I've completed.

A return after a long break/abscence/period of neglect.

Really tough to write.

My favorite song these days is Sunday by Tree 63. Here's a cute video with the song as background.





So, lately I have been living like it's just plain Friday - like Jesus died and that's the end of it, if you're in too much of a hurry to listen to the song. I don't feel good physically, I'm not getting enough sleep, the kids are endlessly sick, and my job is miserable.



Sometimes, that's how I look at the gospel story, too - like we're in this holding period, this long epoch of time where everything is a bummer and there isn't much to be done about it because, hey, "we live in a fallen world," "God didn't promise happiness in this life," or pick some other churchy platitude.



Reading the Word, I can't maintain that attitude. Jesus was already ressurrected from the dead. Yes, "Sunday" is still coming in the big picture - God is going to redeem the world and reign over it, and that is in the future. But Sunday already came, too. Jesus already defeated death and he already gave you and me the power to live in victory. The world - as in creation - is still in bondage to sin, but I am not. I don't have to feel sorry for myself and drudge around here in my infirmities and irritations. I'm still going to have suffering, but God already redeemed my sufferings. Not one second of unhappiness is wasted, but rather every bump and bruise is doing God's work - every tear is shaping my character by the same miraculous power that let the Colorado River shape out the Grand Canyon.



I don't enjoy it, but I have no reason to wallow in it:



28:5-7



The angel said to the women, "Don't be afraid. I know that you are looking for Jesus, who has been crucified.6 He is not here. He has risen from the dead as he said he would. Come and see the place where his body was. And go quickly and tell his followers, 'Jesus has risen from the dead. He is going into Galilee ahead of you, and you will see him there.' " Then the angel said, "Now I have told you."

Just for fun

I'm having a tough week. My entries have been a little more preachy and a little less personal than I want them to be the last 2 weeks. I'm just not willing to write about the junk that is bugging me these days.



Anyway, here's a video that keeps me going on days like today. I hope you enjoy it!

Matthew 26-27

These chapters contain a bunch of the stories about Jesus’ life that we get familiar with in church – The Last Supper, Judas’ betrayal, Peter’s denial, Jesus’ arrest, trial, crucifixion, and death. This time when I read them, I was more aware of how these chapters deal with multiple revelations of the true character of the people surrounding Jesus in his final days in his earthly body.

The high priest Caiaphas and his associates are shown to be afraid of the power of the people. They plan to arrest Jesus after the Passover feast to avoid a potential riot. Judas is shown to be a betrayer. All of the others disciples are shown to have questions about their own faith:

26:20-22
In the evening Jesus was sitting at the table with his twelve followers. As they were eating, Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, one of you will turn against me."
This made the followers very sad. Each one began to say to Jesus, "Surely, Lord, I am not the one who will turn against you, am I?"

Jesus asks them to pray with him, but they all fall asleep instead. This verse hits home with me. That’s just how I feel in my walk with Jesus. Here he is, asking this one thing of me, and I can’t even stay awake to do it. Like this blog – I can’t set aside 30 minutes a day to put my thoughts together and write them down consistently. I’m encouraged that Jesus doesn’t give up on them. He doesn’t let them off the hook, but he still wants them to come with him when the time comes. He is faithful enough for their unfaithfulness – he believes in me enough for my unbelief.

Next, Jesus calls out the people who come to arrest him on the duplicity of their schemes, coming to arrest him in secret like they haven’t had every opportunity to arrest him in public.

26:55
Then Jesus said to the crowd, "You came to get me with swords and clubs as if I were a criminal. Every day I sat in the Temple teaching, and you did not arrest me there.

Peter is revealed in his denial of Christ to fear man more than he fears God. Pilate, the great leader, is unwilling to take the authority that is his and casts the accountability for Jesus’ death on the people. The people are happy to take it on, not knowing that they are cursing themselves. They are revealed as thirsty for blood. I have always felt a little scared and confused by the behavior of the “masses” in these scenes. Maybe that comes from the fact that my first exposure to this scene was from the musical Jesus Christ Superstar and I always here them singing “Crucify Him” in my head when I read it. At the time, I really didn't know what Pilate was going to do, and I remember feeling shocked when he made his decision to go with the crowd. But maybe there is another explanation for their behavior. When you find yourself in the presence of true righteousness, isn't there a moment when you have no choice but to flee it or face your own unrighteousness? Jesus wasn’t going anywhere, so I imagine that those who could not accept their faults would be driven to expunge Him from their presence.

Finally, Jesus’ true character begins to come out. We read this story knowing the end, but to the actual players were more like the 8-year old me at the theater - there was some mystery to it. They saw the miracles, they heard the claims, but in the end, surely they were watching and wondering if it would all stand up. If this man was the son of God, the Messiah, his story couldn’t just end with death at the cross at the hands of an impotent leader and an angry mob.

27:51-54
Then the curtain in the Temple was torn into two pieces, from the top to the bottom. Also, the earth shook and rocks broke apart. The graves opened, and many of God's people who had died were raised from the dead. They came out of the graves after Jesus was raised from the dead and went into the holy city, where they appeared to many people.
When the army officer and the soldiers guarding Jesus saw this earthquake and everything else that happened, they were very frightened and said, "He really was the Son of God!"

And that is what it comes down to - He really is the Son of God.

Matthew 21-25

Listen, friends - I have been reading these verses and parts of these verses over and over. These five verses are saying three things that go together and are so BIG, so tough, so significant, I hardly know what to write. Here it is anyway, because I need to move on. (verses are NAS version)


1 - You can't fake it with God.


23:23 Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint and dill and cummin, and have neglected the weightier provisions of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness; but these are the things you should have done without neglecting the others.


Jesus is addressing the pharisees throughout these passages. Again and again, he calls them on their bluffs. They try to set him up, challenge his authority. How dare they? They know his answers before He gives them - and this time he refuses to even respond to their foolishness.


2 - You can't put God off unitl a later time - there is just no tomorrow with God.


24:17-18 "Whoever is on the housetop must not go down to get the things out that are in his house. "Whoever is in the field must not turn back to get his cloak.


24:44 For this reason you also must be ready; for the Son of Man is coming at an hour when you do not think He will.

We have no business living for ourselves today and promising God our tomorrow. God already bought your yesterday and your tomorrow with his own blood. But here's the deal - He gave it back to you. You get to use it how you want to use it, and you can either use it for His purpose or use it for your own. His ways are higher. I'll back that up down the road but for now, read this story http://www.heart-cry.com/pearlnecklace.html - it's a great illustration.

3 - You can't escape God's righteous judgement.

25:41-46 Then He will also say to those on His left, Depart from Me, accursed ones, into the eternal fire which has been prepared for the devil and his angels; for I was hungry, and you gave Me nothing to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me nothing to drink; I was a stranger, and you did not invite Me in; naked, and you did not clothe Me; sick, and in prison, and you did not visit Me.' "Then they themselves also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry, or thirsty, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not take care of You?' "Then He will answer them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.' "These will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life."

So.....it's coming. I can't know when, and I can't fake it. That. Is. Scary. How can I read this stuff and still face tomorrow? I might think in my head that I am good enough to stand up to judgement. Heck, I'm better than most people I know, right? (right....) I might think that in my head, and I might even beleive it in my head, but I know in my heart that I can't measure up to the holiness of God. That is why I am separated from Him in the first place. That is why I read those verses and feel fear.

This is where we come back to the whole "bought my life" part. He didn't suffer and die so that He could throw me into hell. The Bible says that he bought my life so that He could literally stand in my place in that judgement. Because He created me, because He loves me, He said in deed "Father, these people deserve to be thrown into Hell for what they have done, and there is nothing they can do to make up for it, but I can do something to pay the penalty." Now only though giving Him back the lives He gave us, we can be saved. That is why they call it The Good News and not the Book of Really Scary Stuff. That is why Jesus had to die and why I am compelled to know Him more and more each day.

Matthew 19-20

Remeber when I said that the schedule was flexible? Well, this is what I meant. I meant that I will go 2 weeks without posting anything and not feel guilty about it. Or actually, I will feel crippling guilty about it to the point that my guilt about being behind will actually keep me from posting anything at all...but the IDEA is that I won't get all legalistic on myself and just do what I can here.

Matthew 19 is the big "What Jesus says about divorce" chapter. Both my parents were divorced before they married each other, and my sweet sister in law is going through a separation right now. All I really have to say about divorce is that it stinks. I know there are people out there who say their divorce was "mutual," but I've never met them. It seems to me it's always that one person is leaving the other - or one person wants to leave the other and proceeds to cause so much pain that the other has no choice but to run away for self-preservation.

Most people know that Jesus says divorce is wrong. Many know that he also says that infidelity is a legitimate cause for divorce. When I read this verse this time, I noticed something else for the first time:

10 The followers said to him, "If that is the only reason a man can divorce his wife, it is better not to marry."
11 Jesus answered, "Not everyone can accept this teaching, but God has made some able to accept it. 12 There are different reasons why some men cannot marry. Some men were born without the ability to become fathers. Others were made that way later in life by other people. And some men have given up marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. But the person who can marry should accept this teaching about marriage."

I think Jesus is implying that if you can't accept the teaching that marriage is for a lifetime, you are better off not getting married at all. Did you hear that at your pre-marital counseling session? I sure didn't. It's self-evident in the marriage vows, but most of us go into those vows knowing that the option of divorce is out there.